The Bliss of Solitude

 “It is always the same with mountains. Once you have lived with them for any length of time, you belong to them.”

And no sooner had I read this quote by Ruskin Bond, I went into a nostalgic reverie. The scenic beauty of IIM K came like a flash before my eyes and I would reiterate Ruskin Bond, nevertheless with a tinge of difference: Once you have lived at IIM K, you belong there.

6^th April, 2015: 2 days after the convocation and the campus seemed deserted. Farewells are never easy and more so from that place which had been your home for the past 2 years, where you have seen your best and worst times, where you have made new friends and didn't realize when they became family.

As I bid adieu to the last few friends remaining on campus, I was left speechless. As the auto-rickshaw accelerated, I once again witnessed the zephyr, the misty mountains, the first rays of the sun that touched the Kampus-which I had taken for granted all along. And the same zephyr brought with it a lot of memories-of those rainy days when we just ‘gazed and gazed but little thought, what wealth the show to us had brought’, of those long, refreshing walks, or those little strolls, of the anxious days when we did not know what lay ahead of us and those relaxed times when we knew where we would be a month from now. Those words of wisdom of Socrates, Tagore and Swami Vivekananda gushed past me. All my favourite locations en route downhill went past me with a blink of the eye. With a lump in my throat and glistening eyes, I caught a last glimpse of them.

I was enthralled by the beauty of IIM K 2 years ago when I 1^st came here.  And now, as I left, I was jolted by reality- this was perhaps the last time that I go downhill towards the same gate that I could not take my eyes off when I 1^st entered.  It was a sense of déjà- vu. I could not take my eyes off the gate now either. And then as I left the gates of that sprawling campus, I turned. I turned back one last time to see those white words on the blue board, ‘Indian Institute of Management Kozhikode’. I could not withhold my tears any longer. They gave way. Yes. I cried. All of us cried. No matter how hard we would have tried to withhold our tears, no matter how strong we would have been in all those difficult times here, no matter how much we had promised ourselves that we would leave with a smile on our face; this moment was just meant to break down.     

It has been nearly 2 months since then. Some of us have entered the busy corporate life. Some others are on the brink of entering it. But even today, the people that we talk to almost every day are the ones from IIM K. If a phone call goes on for more than 1hr, it is bound to be with your friend from K. All those names, all those stories that our parents and friends back home hear from us are those about K. Even today, the rains remind you of the campus; the lush greenery, the distant hills, the misty walk-ways and of course, the Arjuna Path-where we found serenity and solace even amidst the mad rush and competitive pressure.

As I look out of my balcony today, I see nothing but a spread of concrete jungles. As I walk on the roads, I see nothing but a mad rush of people running for work. As I read a book to keep myself occupied, I hear nothing but screeching men and women, street fights and loud honking horns. All I can think of is, Oh those days of solace, where did thou go! Those days when we used to have a sip of coffee in the academic block looking over the breathtaking view of the valley, those days when we used to have a quick cup of noodles laughing over a CP done by a friend in the last lecture, those days when class breaks were spent discussing dinner plans, those days when happiness meant a pizza discount at Domino’s, those days when 5min was all we required to plan a movie outing- Oh those days of solace, where did thou go!  

Somewhere down the line, in these 2 years, we stopped fretting about placements, we sailed through sacrosanct deadlines, we aced the most difficult exams and we made the best of memories. Like those when it was a daily routine to stay up till 6 a.m. working on a case study competition, when late night case discussions witnessed every other discussion except that of the case, when the entire college would turn up for a batch-meet or a theatre performance or any other event albeit it being post midnight.

2 years just flew by, like a gush of fresh air. Looking back, it seems that these years were a transit from the care-free student life to the responsibilities of the corporate world. When we entered those gates, we were unaware of what we want to accomplish 2 years hence. While Term 1 was about rigorous academics, getting to know people through section-wars, committee tasks and group activities, it introduced us to a gamut of possibilities that lie ahead. Although we were still unsure of which specialization we would opt for, the summer placements made this a tad easier. It was the summer placements that brought out the best and the worst in us. It was at this time when we found our true friends and realized what seniors are meant for-to instill confidence in us, to guide us through. Academics did not seem that rigorous any more and Terms 2 and 3 were all about long night walks, night canteen, Milma and understanding how wonderful the next few months here are going to be. At the same time those dreaded Finance subjects made some of us realize why we were meant for Marketing and others that they did not have choice now that they have bagged a Fin internship. While the 2 months internship made us realize how much we miss being at K, the next 2 terms were about being the same for the juniors what our seniors were for us, about B-school competitions, and seeing success and failure together. The last term saw various facets of our personality. Learning through cinema and questioning every fact that was thrown at us, the anxiety and fear of Final Placements and the relief thereafter. But it was much easier this time with your friends to guide you at every step. And once it was all over there was rejoice, outings, long walks and even longer talks.

But in the middle of all this hustle-bustle, we participated in various activities, organized several others and started the countdown to the end of our journey at K. But it was only during the final good-bye, when we held back our tears did we realize how much we care for each other. How we miss those days when going to CCD at 2 a.m. in a t-shirt and shorts was no big deal, when walking around in business formals was a daily affair, when dessert meant water melon, when breakfast meant the ever-smiling chechi serving you hot dosas, when you could go anywhere without carrying a wallet because you had a mess account, when you could authoritatively ask a loan from your friend and not settle the account for days together, when you could eat a sumptuous dinner on your friend’s mess account and allow several others to drink coffee from your coffee card. How we wish we could go back!

And these few lines of Wordsworth sum up my stay at K

For oft, when on my couch I lie

In vacant or in pensive mood,

They flash upon that inward eye

Which is the bliss of solitude;

And then my heart with pleasure fills,

And dances with the daffodils.

Almost 10 years since I recited this poem do I understand that it was meant for occasions as these-where daffodils are simply a metaphor for the wonderful 2 years at IIM K.