A Tale of Every Home

‘Mid pleasures and Palaces though we may roam;

Be it ever so humble there’s no place like home!’

With the endless assignments, submissions and quizzes luring all the time, thinking so is often the best alternative we have. How often have we gone into a reverie as this one: “Aah! HOME! Just a week more and I shall be free from the shackles of late-night studies. Free from the daily routine of quizzes and submissions. Free from that mess food which once forced me to think-‘Yeh bhindi mein oil hai ya oil mein bhindi?’ “

We study life-cycles everyday- product life cycle, business life cycle and many more. But come to think of it, home-coming is also a life cycle. How? Most of us haven’t had a chance to spend more than 7 days at home after the end terms. Each day is one stage of this life-cycle. Confused? There’s no need to. It goes like this:

DAY 1: Exhilaration stage

This stage begins approximately 7 days before the date of departure from campus. The endless Facebook updates (Kolkata I’m coming…), vacation itinerary, phone calls at home, messages to friends back at home leave you wondering-this agony of FB updates too shall pass away. This stage goes hand-in-hand with the end terms, packing for the journey, the road trip to the airport, through the supposedly entertaining in-flight entertainment and on your way back home-all that you do is plan for your sojourn at home. Alas! Stage 4, 5 await!

DAY 2: Siesta stage

The itinerary would probably include

a.       Shopping or visiting malls to the extent that your pockets would be empty by the time the vacation ends or

b.      Eating like a glutton to make up for all the home-made, road-side fast food that you have missed to the extent that you have an upset stomach

However, there is no other spoilt sport than this stage. Yes. The Siesta stage- where all that you want to do is sleep. Sleep to your hearts’ content. Sleep to make up for all those sleepless nights that you’ve spent. Sleep to the extent that even if someone kicks you out of your bed or a political leader preaches at the top of his voice in a rally, you just don’t seem to wake up from your slumber.

DAY 3: Ennui stage

Now comes the stage you least expected would. The feeling of boredom, listlessness and lethargy seeps in. The internet doesn’t work. You did away with your ‘daily soap’ watching habit ages ago (almost a year to be precise due to the lack of TV facilities in the hostels). Your old friends are too busy with their new jobs. The new ones are probably as lethargic as you are.

DAY 4: Cognizance stage

The most dreadful stage in the home-coming life cycle. With nobody around to listen to your complaints, you whine in front of the only ones who would probably lend their ears for the same- your parents. However, it’s not too long before you realize the gravity of the mistake you just committed. No sooner did you finish your saga of ennui, comes the list of household chores-from the pettiest ones like getting milk, vegetables and other inventory to most supreme ones of throwing away your old, unused clothes, books etc. What’s worse-it has to be done right now. At this very moment. Why is this stage called so? In the words of a friend, “This stage makes you realize that no matter how qualified you are, ghar ka doodh lene tumhe hi jana padega.”

DAY 5: Congregation stage

Exhilaration-Gone with the wind. Siesta- The more I sleep, the sleepier I am. Ennui-never to return with the list of household chores assigned to you. So what’s next? Congregation stage or the meeting and greeting stage. This is the stage where your father’s mother’s sister’s son’s wife’s father’s mother expects you to ‘At least make a phone call if not come and meet me. After all, you’ve come home after spending a year at IIM!’ The list of phone calls to be made- endless. Thank God for those long distances and the congested traffic, which saved the effort of giving the airhostess-like smiles to those distant relatives who would probably not even remember your name. 

DAY 6: Melancholy stage

The word says it all. You are completely unaware of the reason behind your sadness. Is it the fact that you itinerary has gone to the dogs? Is it because you would be leaving home? Is it because of the mess food that awaits to welcome you back on campus? You just don’t know why.

DAY 7: Adieu stage

The day has finally dawned. Time to return to campus. Time to meet new friends again and bid the old ones goodbye. No matter how frustrating your stay at home was, you don’t feel like leaving. No matter how much music your parents made you listen, you can’t help but notice their glistening eyes as you leave for the airport.

And thus, the 7 stages of the home-coming life cycle come to an end. Only to be repeated next term. No matter how accustomed you are to hostel-life, these stages will repeat- every time you’re away from home. No wonder reading this article you must have felt, ‘Yeh hai Kahani har ghar ki. Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki.’